Sarah's Beginnings
by Crooks
Summary: After ten months of disappearing almost without a trace, Sarah Manning is back to claim custody of her daughter. But why did she leave in the first place? Was it simple abandonment, was she unfit to be a mother or something else? Shortly after meeting Vic for the first time, Sarah attempts to do best by her daughter, the only way she knows how. An Orphan Black Prequel
1. Vic

"Not exactly what I'd describe as an upstanding citizen."

"Fee, you're talking to a girl with a criminal record remember."

Another day, another argument over Sarah's newest source of income. She had just come by Felix's flat to let him know where she would be if anything — well if he needed her.

"Come on," Sarah continued, "I met him through Pete. He can't be that bad?" It was a question. Reassurance of the same pros and cons list she had been making in her head over the past few days.

"Pete! Right, Pete! Yes the guy who got you pinched in the first place. Sarah don't be an idiot, you have a daughter. You screw this up and you can forget custody, you'll be in prison. Where is Kir—"

"Don't, Fee" Sarah held up a hand, "I hear this from Mrs. S enough," Sarah had to take another step forward to silence new words forming on Felix's lips, "Kira is the reason I'm doing this. I can't be her mother if I'm broke. This guy, Vic—"

Felix couldn't help himself, "_Vi—C" _He stretched the name into two syllables, letting the second one get caught in his throat, "He's a coke head, that terrible stubble of a beard and wannabe Will Smith hair do." Felix let himself fade off thinking of the detestable human being of Vic.

"Just—" Sarah swallowed as she let herself out of the flat, "Just look out for Kira and keep Mrs. S out of this."

"Right!" Felix yelled back, "I'll just let 'er know her Sarah's hanging out with coke—" The slamming of the steel sliding door cut him off. It didn't matter Felix had got his point across. Crossing his arms, Felix went back to his painting.

* * *

Sarah stood outside of Kira's school waiting for that final bell to ring. She was going to drop her off at Uncle Felix's before heading off to meet Vic. Hopefully a night that would earn her enough money to pay for her share of the rent on Felix's flat. It wasn't easy crashing there, but they somehow made it work. The hard part was Kira. A city flat in the middle of Toronto wasn't exactly the safest place for her daughter, but it had to work. Mrs. S didn't seem to have any interest in raising another child.

Pete had told her that Vic would bring in more money. He was connected, he was able to get crews that could pull heftier jobs. Jobs that paid a lot more without it being more dangerous. Sarah's usual pickpockets and credit fraud weren't getting her anywhere these days and she needed to keep up with Kira's needs. Another semester of school, clothes, shoes, no amount of wallets and purses were enough.

Finally the bell rand as Kira's brown locks could be seen bouncing up and down just inside the school. She saw Sarah waiting on the outskirts of the parking lot and started scurrying through the mob of kids. Her tiny mittens hung loosely clipped to the wrists of her jacket. Ugh, that jacket. Sarah made a mental note. With winter coming just around the corner, the jacket needed to go. The padding had worn down in several places and even from across the parking lot, Sarah could see holes in the sleeves. First pay day, new jacket.

"Hey Monkey." Sarah knelt down to give her daughter a hug, "How was school?"

"It was okay."

"What did you learn today?"

"Nothing."

Sarah laughed, "Nothing? There must have been something?" Kira tried to hold back a smile until the muscles finally overwhelmed her as she ducked her head back into Sarah's shoulder, "Okay Monkey, let's go home and see Uncle Felix." Sarah stood and held out her hand.

Kira grabbed Sarah's hand and pulled it back towards the ground, "Why?"

Sarah bent down again raising an eyebrow, "Because that's where we live silly. We're staying with Uncle Felix."

"Oh."

They started walking to catch the 3:24 bus on 5th avenue. Sarah was content for the first time all day, holding her daughter's hand enjoying the feeling of spending whatever little time she had with her.

"It's just—" Kira started, "Whenever you say we're going to _see Uncle Felix_, it means he's watching me tonight. Where are you going?"

The words echoed in Sarah's ears and it took them a few moments to register. Kira was always too quick for her own good. "Sorry monkey, I—well." She took a breath, "Mommy has something she has to do." Sarah grabbed the tip of Kira's collar playfully, "So I can get you a brand new coat for winter!" She threw a bit of enthusiasm onto the end of the statement, but it came off flat as a rock hit the base of her stomach.

* * *

With Kira safely at home with Felix, Sarah stood out on a street corner waiting for Vic to show his face. Hopefully Kira was doing something by herself, coloring or reading, anything that kept her out of Felix's hair. Felix loved that little girl, but there was little Felix was interested in, except having Kira try out an assortment of suits and ties. His little _dragster_.

Standing in the middle of Toronto in mid-September wasn't exactly a dream. Speaking of Kira's winter jacket, Sarah would need one too. The icy wind cut through her was a bum started to set up shop right outside a convenience store on the corner.

Sarah felt a presence step up from behind her, "'cuse me. Can you spare a light?"

She nearly jumped. This Vic character better show up soon, "Sorry mate. Just waiting on someone."

The man grumbled something, probably offensive, and walked off. She was alone again, the street vacant and she was waiting for a possible coke head to make her and her daughter's life a bit easier. Suddenly the previous few days' pros and cons list was deteriorating.

"Hey! Sarah!" This time she did jump. Vic. He jogged up to her from down the block, "Cold out here huh?"

Sarah composed herself, didn't even bother to look at him, "We gonna talk about the weather or make some money?"

Vic laughed, "My buddy's coming around the corner, he's got a van."

A van, hooray. Thankfully Sarah kept her mouth shut that time as an unmarked black van came rolling around the corner. With a slick black finish it shined underneath the street lights that came on minutes before as dusk set in. The new plates on the front and back screamed straight out of the dealership, but Sarah knew better. New plates were always being cycled out on these types of jobs. They were fakes on a most likely unregistered vehicle.

Vic and Sarah were being driven by some guy she didn't recognize and it was a few minutes before he said anything. The van had been completely stripped of interior. She and Vic sat on the cold metal floor surrounded by plastic containers. Once the van started jostling around the street lights pierced the tinted windows revealing the red, two gallon size containers. Fuel. What had she gotten herself into?

Sarah nudged Vic and tilted her head at the surrounding containers, he just shrugged. Shifting her eyes back towards the front, she wondered when the driver would mention what the hell they were going to burn. Who the hell? God no, please no.

The driver's blond hair was slicked back with a corner section ruffled by the back of his driver's seat. Black jeans, black shirt, the only thing missing was a cap. Shifting her eyes over to the passenger's seat, Sarah saw exactly that, a knitted beanie to pull the whole outfit together.

Once the van came to a stop at a light, the man shifted his gaze to the rearview mirror. His brown eyes were almost enough to blend into his entire outfit, he was born for this business. "Okay here's the deal. There's an office supply store up here on 17th street. Take two containers each, cover _every_ room. Set it up and we'll be off."

"What?!" Sarah was panicking. She knew she shouldn't be panicking, but that didn't stop the sweat from releasing from her pores and all her thoughts to go right back to Kira. She was used to petty theft, credit cards, not _arson!_ She was used to criminal, but not _criminal_.

The man stopped the van abruptly. Still looking out the rearview mirror, he gave the final instructions, "Here it is." Sarah looked out and saw _Ned's Storage Supplies_ spread out nicely across the top of the large bay window. The glass itself gave information of hours of operation and, '_Largest Selection at a Fraction of the Cost!_' "The door should be open, but make sure you shatter a window or two on the way out. From the _outside._ Go!"

Vic was way ahead of him as he already had his chosen two cans of fuel and jumped out of the van. Sarah hesitated, "Oi!" The driver finally turned around and faced her, "Why the hell are we burning down this place?"

The driver's face froze for a moment. His eyebrows started to pull down as his lip curled, "You get paid not to ask questions."

Sarah stared the driver down for a moment until her eyes flinched towards his waistband. His hand was dangerously close to a black metal object tucked safely in the front of his pants. She didn't have time to guess the caliber, she followed Vic into the store fuel in hand.

* * *

Sarah could still feel the heat of the flames against her skin as the van dropped them back off on the corner where they started. There hadn't exactly been a tutorial on how to burn down a building and she lit the fuel far too early. Vic hadn't even been on his second can, she just needed to get out of there. Vic had been the one to pick up a stone from the curb and hurl it through the bay window shattering all of Ned's store information.

"What the hell was _that, _Vic?!" Sarah sent the heel of her hand into his collar bone.

"Ow!" Vic grabbed his shoulder and spun away spurring all possible future attacks, "Hold on a second, would'ja? I got something for ya."

"Yea well it betta' be good, I'm not doing that aga—" Sarah cut herself off as she watched Vic open a white envelope.

"The guy gave me this before I jumped out."

It was filled to the brim. Twenties, tens, holy shite did she see a fifty. . . hundred?

"So before you go hitting me again," Vic leaned forward and began to smile, "You should at least take your share.

Sarah could only gape at the fresh pressed cash that rushed into her hands. It was _heavy_. "How—how much is this?" Sarah wanted to count it all right there.

"Our fee was fifteen hundred. That's 750 a piece." Vic stopped for a moment and watched as Sarah's jaw remained in the locked down position. He laughed, "Don't be so shocked. You know I got your back. This is what you get for getting in with the organized guys. They know what they're doing."

"_Shite._"


	2. Pouchy

Seventy fifty had been the largest payday Sarah had had, well . . . ever. Though it doesn't help much when you're a month back on your share of the rent and everything around you needs a much needed cash injection. Once Felix got his four fifty from the previous month's rent and Kira got herself some new school supplies and a coat, there was about close to two hundred left. But the rent was due again in a few days and that left Sarah short another two fifty.

She left Vic, much to Felix's snide comments, a few voicemails asking when the next job was. If there _would_ be another job. Finally a few days later her phone started to vibrate on the hard oak of Felix's new coffee table.

"Yea." Sarah answered shortly after fumbling the phone around, nearly dropping it.

"Yo, Sarah, it's Vic. Listen I know you're looking for some more cash but there just isn't anything right now. Thought that pay day would hold you off for a bit."

Sarah sighed, "Yea no. It's just Kira and I was behind on stuff. Isn't there anything?"

There was a distinct pause on the other end of the line. She heard Vic breathing and finally words, "Alright come down to the warehouse district. Just off Main there's a warehouse yard. Check into warehouse 15 at nine tonight. If you need more work, there's someone you need to meet."

"Thanks Vic."

"Don't mention it. Just don't screw it up. This is my ass on the line too."

Sarah hung up the phone and just stared at the blinking _call ended_ screen for a moment. The light went off completely.

"Was that your new boy, Vic?" Felix stepped away from the kitchen leaning over the couch attempting to see the caller ID on the phone.

"He's not my boy, Fee. Just talking shop." She groaned pocketing the phone, "Listen imma need you to watch Kira tonight. I gotta leave here around,_ shite_, leave now. Hopefully be back by ten."

"Sarah," Felix's eyebrows dropped as his arms crossed themselves tightly across his torso, "I love that girl, but you have to stop dumping her off on me all the time."

"Fee, I know that." Sarah swiped her forehead with the heel of her hand, "Just, last time okay. This is it. It's a quick meeting. All you have to do is put her to bed. Easiest babysitting of your life."

Felix rolled his eyes, "Fine. Only because your my sister, anyone else—"

Sarah smiled as she rolled into Felix's arms hugging him before running out. "Yea, yea. Anyone else," She pecked him on the cheek, "Anyone else and you'd let all of their children fend for themselves on the street."

"Well," Felix smiled, "I didn't mean that. . ."

* * *

The bus had dropped Sarah off a block from the warehouse district and even when she got there searching for number 15 was hell. Whoever organized these complexes didn't do it logically. The entire area was surrounded by a solid chain link fence with searing barbed wire across the top. She had to walk along the side of the yard until there was a break in the fence.

With only a few luminous street lamps to guide the way, Sarah had no choice but to nearly walk right up to each building and squint at the faded, cracked letters. The entire area looked closer to a garbage dump than anything actually in use. The former red bricks were cracked and even crumbled in some places. Half of the warehouses looked as if they would cave in at any time if it weren't for the steel supports she knew must be covering the insides.

Looking down at her phone it was nine o'clock on the dot and she hadn't even found the bloody warehouse yet.

"_Oi!"_ Sarah's foot fell into a puddle that looked centimeters deep, but she neglected to take into consideration the probability of a pothole. Taking her leg back out of the puddle the water had instantly soaked through her shoe and left a lovely residue halfway up her calf. Brilliant.

A car suddenly entered the gate she entered. Sarah threw her forearm up as the headlights crossed her line of sight. A fancy car. A dark blue or black, she couldn't tell either way without straining her eyes. Sarah tried to distinguish the logo, but the headlights drowned it out.

The car took a right and then hesitated. The wheels rotated underneath the car and then it swerved back towards Sarah. She froze. Sarah felt the growing dread and fought the urge to run.

One of the tinted windows in the back rolled down and a shadowed face stuck their head out before the glass hit the bottom. She recognized him instantly from the slight tear in his left eyebrow. And then the stubble on his face came into view, "Hey Sarah, need a lift?"

"Vic, shit is that a Lexus? What are you doing in that?"

He smiled, "Perks of the job, get in. That warehouse is just up there." Vic pointed off into the distance, but neither of them could see due to the unlit portions of the yard.

Sliding in, Sarah immediately took note of her surroundings. A mini bar, switches controlling windows, locks and glass separating driver and passenger. "No way is this yours."

Another laugh, "Not a chance, it's Pouchy's, the guy we're meeting."

"Pouchy's? What is he some sort of dog?"

Vic's face tensed as a new, darker expression cut across it, "Don't. This guy is serious. Be right by him and you get the perks," Vic motioned around at the interior of the Lexus, "Just don't screw 'em. Hear me?"

"Yea yea." Sarah threw her hands up to eye level in a _you got me _look, "No need for the lecture, I need to get home sooner rather than later." Sarah took another look around, "And why didn't you pick me up in this thing?"

"I was on the other side of town doing work with one of Pouchy's crews, he sent the car."

Surprise quickly followed by annoyance stretching across Sarah's face, "Thought you said there were no more jobs."

"Wasn't a job exactly, just a—well a mutual exchange of ideas." The car came to a stop, "Here we go."

The car had left, but Vic and Sarah still stood outside of the warehouse. Vic started walking towards the steel door but slowly, "Alright Sarah remember. This guy means business, keep it short and to the point. Don't ask any questions and try to be a bit appreciative."

"Wha? I'm _appreciative_."

"And lay off the sarcasm."

The steel door looked heavy, but Vic opened it noiselessly. Stepping into the building while there was a little more light, the entire aura possessed a vibe of something forgotten and left to rot. Single lights hung periodically from the ceiling only illuminating a circular area about five feet in diameter directly below it. Having these lights spaced dozens of feet apart didn't help to brighten up the room.

The warehouse was completely empty aside from a few boxes lining the walls. The only thing to comfort them was the sound of their own shoes clicking against the stained concrete floor and having the sound thrown out into the empty space.

"Back here." Vic veered to the right towards the only complete source of light in the entire warehouse. A few voices emanated from the room, but Sarah couldn't make out any words. Suddenly a body stepped out to greet them.

The man wore a custom tailored suit perfectly arched around his biceps and wide expanse of shoulders. There was a slight bulge on the left side of his jacket, a gun no doubt. The man's jaw line bit tightly around the confines of his face as a voice spoke for him, "If that's Vic send 'em in."

Sarah hustled up to Vic before a hand was placed on her shoulder. Vic turned slightly, "She's with me." The hand lifted and she was free to go.

Quickly brushing the top of her shoulder she eyed the man guarding the door, "That's right mate, hand off." She smirked until she spotted Vic out of the corner of her eye, "Right, Vic got it."

The room in the back of the warehouse was closer to an office design. Far better lit with one powerful light in the center of the room distributing it equally throughout, a book case filled with mostly cobwebs but a few scattered materials were carelessly stacked on random shelves. There was a tan square on the far wall with a small shadow of a wire forming a rounded triangle above it. Sarah wondered what exorbitant landscape had previously filled that space to entertain the intelligent and well-rounded minds of these men. She smiled for a moment and then remembered Vic's comment about sarcasm. She had to remind herself that these well-rounded individuals had something that she needed.

At the opposite end of the room sat a man behind a beat up desk that looked like a came from an IKEA catalog. Just enough to look like a desk, but didn't do much beyond that. The desk was empty on top beside from a handgun and a paper cutter she used to see what she was in was grade school. The enormous blade would slam down on the paper and instantly cut dozens of 8 by 11 inch sheets of paper into smaller pieces. The gun made sense, but Sarah just couldn't see the bruiser outside participating in arts and crafts.

The man at the desk was different than his bruiser friend. Although he was sitting he seemed shorter, certainly less muscle tone, but sat wearing a similar expertly tailored suit.

Vic and Sarah walked up to the front of his desk before being accosted by another rather tall, bulky individual.

"Please, please Simon. No need." The man at the desk raised a hand towards guard number two and then shifted his eyes back to Vic, "No need to pat you both down right?"

"No sir." Vic responded.

The man smiled, "Then please, sit." He smiled at Sarah, "My employees affectionately call me _Pouchy_," he nodded to Vic, "but the ladies," his eyes shifted back to Sarah, "call me James, James Pouch." He held out stretched a hand and Sarah leaned forward to shake it before settling back into her chair.

Pouchy leaned back, "So Vic tells me you're interested in," He bit down on his lip, "taking on some more responsibility."

"Sure. Whatever ya need, yeah. I'm—I'm your girl."

"You're British?"

"Yea," Sarah's eyes shifted toward body guard number two, "Is that a problem?"

"No, no, no! Quite the opposite." Pouchy leaned forward in his chair and started playing with the massive blade on his industrial sized paper cutter, "The thing is I do have something for you, both of you actually."

Sarah beamed, "Yea absolutely."

"It's just—"Pouchy cut himself off. He took a deep breath as if he was trying to drag this out, "I would need you to relocate a bit."

"Wha, like Scarbourgh?" Sarah choked out a laugh, "Hit some soccer mums?"

"Not exactly. I have a crew down in Myrtle Beach. They have some product coming in and need some help distributing. You two as far as I'm concerning are perfect and let's face it, my opinion is the only one that matters." Pouchy stretched out an expression onto his face, Sarah recognized it as a smile but something was off. His muscles were tensed in his lower jaw leaving a strained pull on his jaw line. "A Brit alongside a Canadian, you'll fly completely under the radar."

"Wait!" Sarah snapped out of her daze, "Myrtle Beach as in South Carolina? As in the States?"

"That would be correct. If it's passports you're concerned I can have those expedited. "

Sarah immediately started shaking her head, "No, I can't. I have a daughter. I can't uproot her for this."

Silence. Pouchy's smirk faded from his features. The air hung indefinitely. The loudest thing in the room was the air passing in and out of Sarah's lungs. Even Vic seemed to hold his breath. Sarah suddenly became aware of the moisture encapsulating her foot. The slight squish it made with every subtle movement.

"Ha!" Pouchy broke the silence causing even his body guard to shift his weight. "Not your style huh. Alright." Waving his hand, Sarah found the bruiser from outside leaning over to hand Pouchy a file, "Let's see. We can hook you up with something more local." Flipping through the sheets of paper in the folder he stopped at one throwing it out onto the desk, "Here's one of my best guys. He runs a crew you two can get in on. Won't pay as much but this won't be any overnights and more behind the scenes."

Vic grabbed the sheet and was quickly on his feet, "Thanks Pouchy, we appreciate it." Sarah was still glued to the chair. Vic grabbed her under the shoulder muttering, "Come on." Then back to full volume, "Thanks, thanks"

Sarah felt like they ran out of there. They weren't even back out into the yard before she started to feel the heat of Vic's breath on her neck. "Sarah, I get what your priorities are, but you can't be doing that."

"Doin' wha?"

"Myrtle Beach. His crew down there. That's huge and you said _no?_"

Sarah sighed, "Vic you know I can't. Let it go."

"I don't care. Sure it was an opportunity for me too, but it's Pouchy that's gonna come callin' for tonight." Vic turned away and started waiting for the car.

Sarah didn't need a lecture right now, so she let Vic's commented go, "So what about the number?"

"Yea, I'll get something set up in the next few days. I'll let you know."

"And until then? Vic I heard you in the car before. What other jobs you got going, for Pouchy?"

Vic turned back to Sarah, "Sarah if there was something you could do I'd let you know. This is on the side, even for Pouchy."

"Come on, Vic."

"I'm serious. Just I'll call you."

The car showed up and Vic climbed in as Sarah watched. Vic had the door halfway closed before he opened it again, "So what, are you getting in or what?"

"Alright, yeah."


	3. Mrs S

The money started to go even faster after that night. Felix started asking for the rent, he had no idea that Sarah was going to be short again.

Luckily Vic came through just in time. At least on this occasion Sarah got some information about the job before showing up. Then again she had learned enough about arson on the last trip. A smash and grab, another inside job, just a little more dangerous. And Sarah knew the danger wasn't just going to be the shards of glass flying off each thrash of the tire iron, but the fact that the store was in the middle of downtown with a lot of foot traffic.

_Diamond's Direct_ had a rather disgruntled former employee with an extra set of keys. Sarah's portion of the heist was shared with Vic smashing each display case to dust as Pouchy's guy snatched the loot.

The only problem rested in Kira. Felix had a date at a local pub and wouldn't be back till late when Sarah was meeting Vic at 8:30. The only place left for Kira to go was Mrs. S's.

"Where are we going Mommy?" Kira squeezed Sarah's hand lightly knocking Sarah's train of thought off the rails.

"Sorry . . . what were you saying?"

"Why did we turn there? Aren't we going to Uncle Felix's?"

"No Monkey, sorry. We're going to see Mrs. S tonight. You're going to stay there. Mommy has—"

"I know." Kira eyed the ground watching her feet shuffle against the pavement, "You have to be somewhere."

The remainder of the walk was in silence. Every once in a while Sarah would squeeze Kira's hand and while she wouldn't look up, but a little smile would form on her face, just a little tug on her cheek.

By the time they reached Mrs. S's the sun was just beginning to dim over the horizon. Turning down the walk Mrs. S was sitting on the steps waiting. Her auburn brows were furrowed, arms crossed pulled tightly across her chest. Recognition struck her face as Sarah and Kira came onto the property, then Mrs. S's features tightened as her mouth dropped.

"About time you showed up." Mrs. S stood and walked towards Kira, "Afraid you'd gotten lost. Ya haven't been here in a while."

Sarah rolled her eyes dropping her daughter's hand, "Well we made it, yeah."

Mrs. S kneeled down to Kira's level, "I bought some new coloring books. There out on the table for ya," She swiped a hand through Kira's curls, "How does that sound hun?"

Kira nodded quickly as she hopped up the stairs to the small two story suburban.

Stepping to the side, Sarah tried to follow but Mrs. S shifted into her path, "Wha? Aren't you gonna let me be with my daughter?"

Mrs. S returned to her form pose, crossed arms, mouth tightened into a line, "I don't think so. You're the one that can't be here tonight, not me."

Sarah could feel the tension flow through her shoulders but she still had to stay calm "I do have a few minutes. Just let me make sure she's settled."

"No, she's fine. She's here _with me_, she's fine."

Now Sarah couldn't help but let the rage show, "She's _my_ daughter. You do right by her, yeah. But she needs her mother."

"And where are you now? Going off to do God knows what? If you—If you keep up this life your lucks gonna run out Sarah and what then? You're going to leave that girl without a family. She needs stability and that's what I've got here."

Sarah stood frozen, the rock in the pit of her stomach was back but she refused to let it show on the outside. Her eyes still on fire as they pierced through Mrs. S thinking about her daughter inside. She was probably coloring a picture with the inscription of _To: Mommy_ at the top. Kira deserved better than this, Mrs. S had that one right. But that's why Kira was here tonight, Sarah was trying to make that happen.

"I'll be back in the morning, at nine." That was a promise she was going to keep.

* * *

Sarah got back to Mrs. S's by 8:45 the next morning. She had slipped on a wool sweater so the sleeves would cover her right forearm. A shard of glass during the night got caught beneath her glove and fell back into the sleeve slicing her forearm on the next swing. It wasn't too deep, not deep enough to leave blood at the scene most importantly, but visible enough for Mrs. S to raise an eyebrow at.

Vic, as expect, had seemed a little too excited for the job. Gripping and re-gripping his tire iron as they drove into the downtown area. Sarah has wanted to punch him right in the face, if nothing else it would have knocked some sense into him. The door to the jewelry store was open as expected and they were in and out within ten minutes. Communication was easy at first as there were few people out at that hour, but once the store alarms sounded Sarah has to rely on nonverbal communication. There was a moment Vic seemed to be so into it that Sarah had to grab his collar dragging him out of there before the cops showed up.

Even though the actual smash and grab took place shortly after midnight, Sarah hadn't gotten much sleep. She couldn't risk sleeping in late, couldn't give Mrs. S the satisfaction. The bags on her eyes showed, but it was nothing a little eyeliner couldn't fix.

Sarah knocked on the front door fully expecting Kira to be thrown in into her arms and having the door slammed in her face. What she got was something different entirely.

"You're early." Mrs. S checked her watch, "It's refreshing."

"So, is Kira up?" Sarah didn't make eye contact, instead she scoured the living room looking for any signs of life.

"She's in the kitchen." Mrs. S uncrossed her arms and lifted her brows, "Do you want to come in?"

Sarah shrugged, "Whatever, yeah."

Kira sat at the kitchen table, crayons and markers spilled everywhere. Pieces of paper torn out and tossed about, all the pictures she's drawn. Hearing the footsteps, Kira turned around, "Mommy!" Flying down from the chair, Kira's arms flailed as her legs quickly navigated around the furniture of the living room. She flew into Sarah's arms, "I drew you a picture!"

"Oh yea, which one?"

Kira ran back to the table and snatched one of the sheets, "This one! It's of you," Kira's tiny pointer finger rested on girl in long black hair in a baggy dark t-shirt, "And here's Felix!"

"Where's you monkey?"

"I'm not in it."

"Why not?"

Kira quickly shrugged her shoulders, "Are we going home now?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sarah turned to Mrs. S, "Thanks." A quick nod of her head and Sarah walked to the front door holding Kira's hand.

"And Sarah." Mrs. S spoke up just as they hit the foyer, "She was a joy, I'll take her anytime."

Sarah nodded again and walked off the porch.


	4. Coffee Date

Within a day Sarah had an advance from the smash and grab. When the actual jewels were sold Vic mentioned there would be more, but she found that it didn't matter. There was a new job every week or so and Sarah for the first time in her life felt comfortable. Sure the jobs didn't pay as well as arson, but making three hundred bucks every week was doing better than she ever had expected.

A week or two went by and Sarah had her things from Felix's packed in boxes, clothes—for once—perfectly folded in suitcases as she moved into her new one bedroom apartment a few blocks away from Kira's dear Uncle Felix.

The apartment was worn down to say the least. It could have used a new paint job, the heating rattled through the confines of the walls and Sarah could have sworn she saw a small mouse or an excruciatingly large roach. She couldn't decide which possibility was worse. But at the end of the day, for the first time in her life Sarah had a place to herself. She was home with her daughter.

With the new source of income, Sarah was able to get two beds and a beat up second hand couch. Felix claimed the couch was vintage and had an aura of its own, but Sarah knew he was just bullshitting. Felix was just as excited about getting Sarah out of his flat as she was to leave.

Kira adjusted surprisingly well. It might have been due to the fact that Sarah quickly sprayed the entire apartment down with RAID, but even not seeing Uncle Felix on a daily basis didn't seem to get her down.

Finally having a day to herself, Sarah left a little earlier than usual to pick Kira up from school. She walked into an arts and crafts store in downtown Toronto before catching a bus out to the grade school. Sarah was determined to give Kira a cabinet of her own filled with paints, crayons, and markers, whatever she would need. A knot in the back of her neck thought of Mrs. S's kitchen and how prepared she was for Kira even though she wasn't even her mother.

Cost was never an issue. Sarah paid for her bag filled to the brim of craft supplies in cash and walked out in order to catch the bus a few blocks north.

Feeling the weight of the bag swinging taunt at her side, Sarah felt her phone start to vibrate. Fumbling with the handles, she threw the bag into her other hand and dug the phone out of her pocket. It was Vic.

"Yeah Vic, I thought we were on for tomorrow night?"

"Sarah, Sarah." It was a hushed, stressed tone. The sound of wind passed through the ear piece. Sarah listened closer and found that it wasn't wind, it was the sound of Vic breathing.

"Vic, what's wrong?"

"Come to the coffee house on the corner of Bloor and Main, it's a little place up in Yorksville." His voice broke off for a moment, "I need you."

Sarah stopped walking to check her surroundings. Bloor was a few blocks south of where she was, about a ten minute walk, "Vic I have to pick up Kira, I have five minutes."

"Fine. Yeah just please hurry."

Sarah turned around and started walking faster, "_Shite._"

* * *

Vic was nearly banging on the plate glass window at the front of the coffee house before Sarah even had a chance to look for him. She nodded her head and walked in.

Taking three quick strides she slid into the empty seat across from Vic. His palm was rubbing the top of his head as it dipped up just enough to watch Sarah sit down.

"Alright Vic I'm here. What'ch ya need?"

Vic lifted his head slowly, shifting his eyes to the side. Sarah saw this and turned to see what he was looking at. Vic grabbed her, "No, no, no, don't look, just—"

"Just what?"

"Don't look, but I'm being followed."

"Vic!" Sarah rolled her eyes, "You got to be kidding me. I don't need any of your paranoid shit right now!"

"Sarah I'm serious." His tone dropped another level as Sarah started to look as his face. He was covered in sweat as his eyebrow twitched incessantly. He leaned forward slowly, "There's a plain clothes cop over there. He's been following me." Sarah lifted her head looking for a reflection in one of the hipster framed piece of art that lined the walls. There was a man sitting alone, no coffee, nothing to read, just looking around. Vic might have been on to something.

"Alright I think I got 'em. But what's the deal Vic. Who cares if you get pinched, I mean—" Realization hit her, "Wait Vic, what do you have on you?"

"Nothing."

"That sweat on your face doesn't say nothing Vic, what is it?"

Vic paused for a second, "It's—" Shifting his eyes back and forth once more, "It's in the bathroom. A kilo. I was doing a run for Pouchy." Sarah sighed, "Sarah if I lose that stash it's on me! I can't pay that back, Pouchy's gonna kill me, please. Help."

"Shite Vic, I'm on my way to pick up Kira you realize that, my _daughter_."

"Yeah and I'm sorry. Just please."

She was sick of hearing him beg, "Fine. Where is it?"

"Men's bathroom. Ceiling tile. Back row, third from the right."

Sarah started to slide out when Vic grabbed her hand, "Wait till I leave and he's gone, then go."

"What am I gonna do have a cup of tea with these people?"

"Sure, I don't care. Tea's on me."

Vic left and the plain clothes officer followed closely behind.

* * *

Vic did end getting pinched. As Sarah left the coffee house a rush of sirens flooded past her. She hadn't thought much of it until she was on the bus on her way to Kira's school. The lights and sirens culmulated to a point a few blocks south. Sarah's eyes locked on the alleyway and for a moment and she could see Vic flying face first onto the hood of a cop car. She was relieved. There was something about Vic that Sarah found solace in. He was just like her. Rough around the edges, but didn't fit in this life of drugs and late night raids—no matter how much he seemed to enjoy the rush of adrenaline. Hopefully the cops didn't have any charges that would stick and he'd be out by night. If not, what the hell was she going to do with the coke?

The coke. _Shite._ The weight of Kira's crafts in the bag weighed down in her hand. The kilo stuffed in between the folds of a coloring book. Sarah was sitting on the bus and yet couldn't bring herself to put the bag on the ground. Every bump and Sarah could swear a white puff of dust flew up into the air. The kilo was shoddily tapped together with some generic packaging tape. Hopefully it would all hold together until she could get rid of it.

Even the bus ride back to the apartment with Kira took forever. Every time Kira's eyes even motioned towards the bag that Sarah still refused to let go of, Sarah flinched away. The last thing that the working class of Toronto needed was her daughter pulling out a kilo of cocaine on a city bus.

Even back at their new apartment Sarah found it difficult to find a moment to take out the craft supplies without Kira diving in on her own. Looking down seeing the white powdery package sitting quietly next to construction paper and coloring books, it looked so innocent. Quickly throwing the supplies onto the table, Sarah wrapped the bag quietly around the coke and threw it into a bottom cabinet in the kitchen. Kira was far too engaged in the pile of paper, cutting fun shapes using the zigzag scissors to notice Sarah's preoccupation with her phone. Vic was going to call, he had to call.

Two hours after Kira had gone to bed, Sarah's phone rang. Grabbing it off the counter the rage from earlier resurfaced, "Vic, it's about time."

"Sorry, Sar—"

"Save it, Vic. My place, twenty minutes." She hung up before he could respond, _bastard_. The word had crossed her mind and she immediately regretted it. It was too harsh, Vic was just trying to get by and she had gotten caught in the middle. But why her? Then it struck her. Vic was to Sarah as Sarah was to Vic. He counted on her, trusted her. He didn't have anyone else to call with a cop breathing down his neck. It was refreshing, someone was finally leaning on Sarah. She would have smiled, but caught herself in time. There was still a kilo of coke in her kitchen cabinet.


	5. Myrtle Beach

Sarah opened the door and Vic was less sweat covered than earlier in the day, but still had the same twinge of distress in his forehead and tension in his shoulders. As soon as Sarah saw him the well-practiced words fell out of his mouth, "Sarah I'm sorry."

Feeling the words echo behind her Sarah took a step into the hallway and shut the door, "Kira's sleeping." A certain amount of venom came attached to the words. Sarah thought about it and decided that it had been well deserved. Vic hunched his shoulders and took a step back into the hallway staring down at his feet, "Vic that was my daughter you put in the line of fire today." Surprisingly, Sarah heard the words leave her mouth on an even keel. Still venomous, but even.

"I know, I'm sorry." Vic said weakly.

"No! You don't know!" Finally Sarah's frustrations boiled over, "You have no idea what it's like to raise a child in this city while having to work for someone like Pouchy!" Sarah heard her words return to her ears as the sound waves bounced off the end of the hallway, she didn't care, "You can use me all you want, Vic but don't you _dare_ go near Kira!" A tenant stuck their head out of a door to check on the commotion. Sarah gave them an apologetic wave, but the tenant didn't shut the door immediately. Looking down Sarah saw a woman in her mid-forties, slippers and a nightgown with a distinct curl in her upper lip. "What?!" Sarah yelled and the woman retreated, "_thank you!_" She turned back to Vic.

He shifted his weight from each foot, but had his eyes locked on Sarah's staying silent for a long time. Sarah on the other hand was able to use the time to right herself, lower her voice and get a hold of the situation.

It hit her and she needed to tell Vic. He got her into Pouchy's crew and he deserved to know the exact reason she had to leave, "Vic. . ." She trailed off. Relaxing his brow, Vic was taken off guard by a calmer tone, "My daughter, I can't keep doing this with Pouchy, I have to be a legitimate mother."

"Sarah the coke—"

"I got your coke inside, yeah. But Vic."

"No Sarah." Vic breathed in heavily, "The coke was because Pouchy was ticked we didn't take the job down at Myrtle Beach."

Sarah cut him off, "So this is on me!" Again she found her voice echoing.

"No!" Vic rubbed the back of his neck, again looking at the ground, "I just wanted . . . wanted to _protect_ you."

"Vic I don't need—" Sarah saw him wringing his hands and hesitated. She didn't need anyone's protection, but Vic had done it selflessly. Sarah took a hold of Vic's hands caressing them softly, "Thank you. But Vic don't do that, you don't _need_ to do that."

Vic shrugged still locked on the ground. Bringing a hand to his cheek Sarah leaned in and kissed him gently on his forehead, "Thank you." It was a moment that hung in the empty space of the hallway. She felt a squeeze in her hand and smiled. Vic smiled back. Sarah rolled her eyes at the next words that came out of her mouth, "Alright, come inside and get your coke."

Vic stifled a chortle of laughter and stepped into the apartment.

* * *

"I appreciate this, Sarah."

"Take your coke and go, yeah?"

Vic sat at the table staring at the white block of powder covered in packaging tape. He reached out touching it, letting his fingers probe the outside caverns before truly accepting that it was real.

"Sarah if you're sure about getting out of this game, Pouchy's not going to like it."

She shrugged sitting down at the table. They were able to talk quietly enough not to wake Kira in the other room, "Yeah well what is he gonna do?"

"Come after you for one." Sarah lifted an eyebrow, "Sarah this isn't your standard Manchester-United Soccer gang. This is business. If you quit you'd be costing Pouchy money."

"Well, shite Vic, what do I do."

"Go to Myrtle Beach." Sarah rose for the table rolling her eyes. "Sarah just hear me out. It doesn't have to be long term. A weekend. Hell, I don't know we can work it out with Pouchy."

"And what I hear from you, he seems like he would be reasonable, yeah." Sarcasm bit through the words.

Vic shrugged his shoulders, "What other choice do you have?"

Sarah started pacing in the kitchen, "Lemme work this out. If we fly down, we'd fly right? On Pouchy's dime." Vic nodded and Sarah continued, "Fly down on a Thursday night stay through the weekend and Kira'll have to stay with Mrs. S." Sarah paused. "She'd never take her for more than a night, but she wouldn't abandon her. A few extra days won't kill her and then I'd be done. Cash out. Never have to see Pouchy again."

"In theory sure."

"I don't need theory Vic, I need reality."

Vic stood up and walked towards Sarah, she leaned against the kitchen counter allowing him to approach, "I'll talk to Pouchy. I can get something settled."

"I'll owe ya one Vic."

He smiled and walked out coke in hand.

* * *

It was few days of nervous ticks before Vic got back to her. Every time Sarah's phone rang it was quickly snatched out of her pocket or off the table, looking at the brightened screen checking the caller ID.

Finally, nearly a week later he called, "Sarah it's all worked out. Had to do some side jobs before Pouchy would agree to anything, but we got ourselves a deal."

"What deal?"

"Pouchy's got a load of product coming up and needs some extra hands to deal. Once it's gone, we're gone."

Sarah took a deep breath, "By product, you mean more coke?"

"Yeah, but this is the last of it. We do this and you can get out."

Sarah hesitated, "What do you mean _you_? Just me?"

"Yeah well," Vic rushed through the words, "I gotta stay on for a bit, but you'll be out. Out with Kira."

Warmth struck Sarah's chest and moved upwards. She could hear the twinge in Vic's voice. It was as if he was willing to do anything for Sarah. Vic wasn't simply the punk drug dealer with his scruffy five o'clock shadow. He was quickly becoming more. A moment passed as Sarah imagined the possibilities of Myrtle Beach.

Snapping back to reality, "Alright Vic, when do we leave?"

"This Thursday?"

"Thursday."


	6. Phone Calls

Sarah kept telling herself it was just a few days, but she couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for putting Mrs. S out like that. Nonetheless the next few days were spent packing everything Kira would need for a weekend. Looking at the full suitcase and including Kira's school backpack this is going to seem like overkill for one night, Sarah shrugged her shoulders throwing another pair of pants in with the rest.

Felix had rolled his eyes when Sarah had told him the plan. It was ridiculous, Sarah even knew that. Felix hadn't needed to vocalize it to get that message across. "Just call me if you need anything, Fee. I'll be around."

"Yea and when Vic gets you thrown in jail I'm sure you'll be the one calling me?"

"Just. If you need to get a hold of me, just—do it Fee alright?"

Felix slammed his fist down on the table top, "Sarah! I'll know where you are! I won't have any problem! What happens when you don't show up Friday morning?"

"Easy, Kira goes to school, no worries."

"And after school? Mrs. S is going to be banging down my door."

Throwing her hands into the air, Sarah hesitated and finally rested them back on her head, "Fee, what can I do? This whole this is so screwed up. Just avoid her for a few days, yeah?"

Leaning against the countertop Felix subsided, "A few days, then you get your ass back here." He smiled and walked over to Sarah, "Just remember if it's between you and Vic, you throw him to the dogs before you let yourself get pinched."

"Yeah, yeah." Sarah embraced her foster brother and it would be the last time for nearly a year.

* * *

Sarah and Vic sat on Flight 354 to Columbia, South Carolina. Vic was preoccupied with a little bottle of gin that he got from one of the flight attendants. He was attempting to make a martini using an olive taken from an inflight salad. After a few moments Vic turned to Sarah and smiled. His teeth glistened contrasting his skin tone as the alcohol swished back and forth in the cheap plastic cup designated for soda. The week old olive was skewered floating densely at the bottom. Sarah stared blankly for a moment, then took the cup out of Vic's hands and drank the entire martini like a shot.

"Hey!" Vic mocked a face of hurt, sticking out his lower lip.

"What are you five? Make me another one!"

Vic bowed his head gently flipping his hand at her palm side up, "Yes ma'am."

Sarah smiled and leaned her head back against the headrest. She could feel the cool scorch of gin creeping down the back of her throat. Waiting for the alcohol to enter her bloodstream, Sarah couldn't help but think back to Kira.

_"Sorry, Kira wanted a few outfits for the night and packed an extra bag." Luckily Kira was out of earshot so she wouldn't contradict the story. Sarah smiled apologetically as Mrs. S held the same expression on her face as Kira had earlier, a mix of confusion and suspicion. After moment Mrs. S's face relaxed and shrugged. _

_"So you'll be back tomorrow?"_

_"Yeah." Bold faced lie. Sarah walked past Mrs. S, towards Kira giving her a reason to hide her face, "Might be a bit later than last time."_

_"About when then?"_

_Sarah let out a breath of air through the gaps in her teeth, it sounded more exasperated than annoyed, "I probably won't be back before school, could you send her?"_

_"Sure. Will you be picking her up?"_

_There was a pause, a stoppage in time. Sarah leaned down and kissed Kira on the top of her head as she was coloring a picture of a giraffe on a prairie. "I'll call you when I'm back. If I don't call I won't be able to." Another pause._

_"Then I'll be picking her up too I guess." Mrs. S crossed her arms. Lips curling down into a frown and it was Sarah's cue to leave._

_Sarah kneeled down next to Kira coloring at the table, "Bye monkey."_

_"Bye Mommy. See you tomorrow."_

_Sarah froze, without another word she got up and walked out the front door. She could feel Mrs. S's presence behind her as she reached the porch. Turning around, "Siobhan? I'll be back as early as I can."_

_Mrs. S tiled her head to the side slowly squinted her eyes and then let it go._

And that was that. Now Sarah was sitting thousands of feet above sea level next to the one man that got her into this mess, but also one of the only people who cared enough to dig her out. She guessed that Vic had been growing on her from the start. From the night she lit the gasoline too quickly and he had to save her from being burned alive.

* * *

The first twenty four hours of Myrtle Beach went smoothly. Touching down at four in the afternoon, Vic and Sarah were initiated in time to start slinging the dope by nightfall. By three in the morning Vic and Sarah had sold a few ounces between them. Once they returned the profit and remaining cocaine, Pouchy's supplier gave them a nod and indicated where to meet to pick up Friday night's product. Sarah and Vic headed back to the apartment Pouchy had leased for his sellers and Sarah was asleep before she hit the pillow.

Morning came and sliver of light cut into the room as the heavy drapes swung slowly from side to side. Blinking back the light Sarah flipped over and found Vic under the covers next to her. Vic had actually taken the time to get under the covers as Sarah found herself fully dressed lying on top of the cheap polyester comforter.

Swinging her legs down Sarah patted her thigh looking for her phone. It wasn't there. Launching to her feet, Sarah hit every pocket on her jeans quickly shooting her eyes around to every surface of the room. Then she remembered the vibrations the phone had given off in the middle of the night. She had woken up momentarily, thrown it on the ground and went back to sleep.

Kneeling down, the phone had made a perfectly executed bounce to land safely tucked away in the farthest corner under the bed. _Shite._ Stretching out and grabbing the phone, Sarah read the front of the screen. _2 missed calls. 2 new voicemails. _

Sitting down the edge of the bed, Sarah looked at the clock. It was 12:30. She knew exactly who these voicemails were from.

"_Sarah, I sent Kira off to school like you asked. Give me a call to confirm you're picking her up. Thanks." _A twinge of guilt shot through her stomach. Mrs. S actually said _thanks._ There was a level of trust the two of them had and Sarah was taking advantage of that, it was attempted arson on any bridge they created over the past few weeks.

The second message was Felix, "_It's Felix. Mrs. S just called. She seemed perturbed in her usual sense. Don't screw this up, I told her I didn't know anything."_

Good 'ole Felix. Coming through in a pinch. He bitched about having to do this sure, but he would always have Sarah's back and Sarah hoped it was obvious that the reverse was also true.

Throwing the phone on the night table Sarah flung her head back down on the bed. Vic flinched, rotated slightly and then went back to sleep. Seeing the phone out the corner of her eye, Sarah wondered if she would have to leave her phone in the apartment that night. Don't want excess calls to disturb the cliental.

Sarah did end up taking her phone along, but she had to shut it off after an hour or so. By dinner time, Mrs. S had called twice more and Felix rang once. Sending the first two to voicemail, Sarah elected to pick up the third.

"Fee, what's up? Kinda busy."

"Whats _up?_ Sarah Mrs. S is losing her mind. What do you want me to say to her?"

Sarah pressed the palm of her hand against her forehead slowly working it down deep into her left brow, "Well I guess she's going to be freaking out for a few days. Just keep her calm."

"And how would you expect me to do that?"

"Shite Fee can you just figure it out. _You don't know where I am, I'm sure she'll be back soon, _See! It's not that compli-." Sarah heard a distinct click on the other end of the line. Sarah rolled her eyes, pocketed the phone and continued looking for customers.

* * *

"You know I have to tell you two, you've sold more dope in two days that most people did all last week."

Pouchy's thug didn't look like your standard dope slinger. He wore a suit every night and collected the cash by sliding it gently into a gold wallet clip. He was a few inches taller than Sarah and with no visible tattoos assimilated nicely into the crowds surrounding all the clubs and restaurants.

Vic smiled at the compliment handing the thug the remaining crumpled twenty dollar bills rattling around in his pocket. Sarah didn't know what to say so she repeated the same thing she said the night before, "Thanks, see ya tomorrow night."

Grabbing Vic by the arm Sarah dragged him away. After a few feet she heard the thug yell back at them, "We'll have to upgrade you two tomorrow, see how that goes."

_Joy_. Sarah ignored the comment and went back to the apartment with Vic. It was Saturday at 2 am. She was just over 18 hours late to pick up Kira and she wasn't going back to Toronto for at least another 24 hours. The calculations added to her guilty conscience as they walked home and the five new voice mails only compiled onto that guilt.

_"Sarah is would be nice to hear from you. Kira's fine—"_

Next.

_"Kira is wondering where you are—"_

Next.

_"Where the hell are you Sarah. You're her _mother_." _It wasn't angry . . . yet. Just exasperated.

Next.

_"Mommy._ _Mrs. S said I could use the phone to call you. When are you coming back?" _Sarah's ear was glued to the phone. Every fiber in her body was telling her to delete the message and continue onto the last, but she couldn't, _"Today Mrs. S and I went to the zoo in the afternoon and I drew a picture of us. You weren't there so I just added you._ _I love you Mommy_._"_

Vic stumbled out of the bathroom as Sarah felt a tear wet on the side of her cheek. Quickly wiping it away, Sarah tossed the phone onto the night stand completely forgetting about the fifth and final message.

Kicking off his shoes, Vic fell onto the bed allowing his body to bounce, "So that was pretty cool."

Regaining her composure, Sarah could feel the impression his body made weighing down the bed. Coughing, making sure her voice didn't crack she responded, "What was cool, Vic?"

"That guy telling us we're good. Never thought I would be good at slinging dope in a foreign country."

Sarah rolled her eyes, "It's not Nigeria, Vic. It's the East Coast."

Dropping his playful tone, "I know that. Just—" He cut himself off and let silence hang in the air.

"Just what?"

Feeling the impressions shift slightly on the bed, Sarah felt Vic sitting up, "Just—just we make a good team, that's all." Sarah felt a hand rest on her shoulder and run slowly down the length of her back. The chill of his touch caused her back to arc towards him. Spinning around on the bed, Sarah tore her eyes away from her guilt charged phone. Vic let his hand flow lightly over her shoulders, pushing his hand flush to the side of her neck as it followed the line of Sarah's jaw to the tip of her chin. "We're good together, you and me."

Dropping his hand down to the bed, Vic smiled. Sarah couldn't help but return the expression.

Vic shrugged, "And tomorrow you'll be on a plane back to Toronto and Kira can have her mom back."

The words had barely reverberated in the back of Sarah's skull before she found herself on top of Vic running her hands through the folds of his clothes. Moving to his face she could feel the stubble on her cheek as she kissed him deeply.

It was the simple phrasing that had struck home. This entire time Sarah wondered who Vic was doing all of this for. Did Vic do it for Sarah or for himself trying to get something out of it? But it wasn't either of those. This was so _Kira can have her mom back._ It was simple, easy and this whole time this low life career criminal working for a guy named Pouchy found himself doing everything for Sarah's_ daughter_. He didn't love that little girl true, but he loved Sarah and everything Sarah loved was a part of that.

Sarah didn't have any trouble finding her way under the covers that night as Vic's naked body was pressed tightly against hers. Sarah fell asleep with three distinct thoughts. One, Vic lying next to her. Two, Saturday night was her last night in South Carolina. And three, how Mrs. S was going to kill her when she got back Sunday night.


	7. Stuck

It wasn't long after waking Sunday morning that Sarah found herself stuffing more than her share of dope into her pockets. Her flight was set to leave at 10 pm that night and she had to make sure to sell it all before that. But the dealer kept handing her little plastic baggies of eight balls. Far more than the previous days.

"Oi, hold on a sec." Sarah didn't find a place for the next few baggies Pouchy's thug shoved into her hands, she just stood there a moment, "This is too much. About, twice the load I've been selling the last two nights." Vic hesitated for a moment and then stuffed his remaining baggies into the inner pocket of his jacket. The thug just looked at Sarah, face expressionless. "Oi! I can't sell all this, take it back."

"Well if you can't sell it. I'm not sure how you're going to pay for it." A voice echoed from the back of the alley. Looking behind the dealer, a town car was sitting just out of sight and a man got out. It took Sarah a second to place the voice. "That is your share, that is what I am hiring you to sell and if you can't do it then you'll have to cover it." The noon sun finally cut across the voice's face and Pouchy stepped out of the shadows. Vic did mention that he had a flair for the dramatic. Flying half way across a continent just to step out into the midday sun like Batman sneaking up predatorily. Sarah glanced at Vic and he was staring back at her. His face was pinched at the top of his forehead as his mouth curled downward. Pouchy just smiled. He most likely interpreted the dire expressions on both of their faces. Holding up his hands he continued, "No need to worry. I'm not here to chastise anyone. Simply here to congratulate some of my best sellers." Sarah studied his face for a moment. The smile was still plastered on his lips, but his eyes read something different. A soulless quality that Sarah felt she could sink into and fall forever. Something was etched in the previous words and there were others to be said that hung loosely on Pouchy's lips, but instead he licked them. "The extra is for you to sell any way you can. If you do well, we'll keep you on a bit longer. If not, you can sell the last of the shipments and be done."

Sarah squinted her eyes first at Pouchy and then turned to Vic who held a strikingly similar expression. She took a step forward, "Sorry, I'm not interested in staying in back in Toronto. Thanks, but no thanks Pouch."

Pouchy's brows dropped as an attempted smile turned sour instantaneously. Vic read this and held an arm out in front of Sarah, "What she _means_ Pouchy is that, she—we thought we had this worked out. Sarah goes home to her kid and I'll stay on back in Toronto."

A breath of air past between them before Pouchy's face relaxed and broke into another smug grin, "Yes. As I recall that was what we discussed. But things have changed. I have better product coming in, actually it's what you have right now and I need sellers on the streets. If you prove yourself again tonight, you'll be allowed to stay on longer."

Sarah spit, "_Longer?!_ I'm not taking this business back to Toronto, back to my daughter. She can't be around this."

"Oh no, no, no." Pouchy said, "You misunderstand me. This will never touch your daughter. She'll be safe in Canada and you'll stay on in Myrtle Beach."

Sarah couldn't breathe. For a second her thought processes completely broke down unable to even decide on what to consider first. She had her daughter staying with a most likely enraged Mrs. S. Then there was Felix who had to deal with their chaos. Vic standing next to her breathing more heavily with each passing second. And then there was herself stuck in an unimaginable situation surrounding a Toronto based drug dealer that decided to spread his reach to the East Coast.

Sarah snapped back to reality in time to see the jacket of the dealer pulled open as a sidearm revealed itself. His opposite hand twitched towards the gun. _Stay calm, breathe Sarah, breathe._ "So—" There was a way to remedy the situation, there had to be, "If I sell this stash tonight, I'll stay down here in the states. If I don't sell the stash tonight, I _still_ have to stay here and continue selling?"

Pouchy's face didn't let any hint as to his thoughts, "If I were to reward you for doing a poor job and letting you leave after failing to sell my product, well that wouldn't make a very good business model, would it? So in a way I guess you're right. Myrtle Beach is going to be your home until my product sells regardless."

"How long's that gonna be?" Sarah was done with diplomacy. Her words fell from her mouth venomous and spiteful. Her days working on the streets came back to her as her heavy British accent doused the words unapologetically.

"About a year."

"_A year?!_"

"Like I said, it's a lot of product. Do your job well and you might be home to your daughter in 8 months, maybe 6 if you're lucky."

Sarah heard Vic clear his throat, finally he was going to contribute something, anything, "Yo Pouchy, look I'll take Sarah's stash and I'll stay on for two years. It's cool." Sarah looked at him for a moment. It was something he never would have offered another living soul, it was for Sarah and her daughter. Sarah smiled and then heard Pouchy speak up for the last time.

"Hmmm no. That won't work. I like you two together." He paused before turning away back towards his town car. "And Sarah don't think there won't be any repercussions if you catch that flight tonight, ten o'clock was it? Good luck selling."

Sarah and Vic walked about of the alley speechless. Sarah was frozen in time and Vic attempted to look for a silver lining. He was talking about the money and how much they would make working for Pouchy for a solid year. Sarah didn't care. She had to make that flight, she couldn't leave Kira without a mother. "Vic, shut up. Let's just sell this shit and get going."

"Wait. Are you thinking about catching that flight tonight? Sarah cancel it. It's done. Pouchy's serious when he says he'll retaliate. You're his until his stash is gone and that's that."

"Yeah Vic and whose fault is that?" She turned towards him, heat searing through her eyes, onto his. Sarah's eyes stayed sharp as Vic's fell to the ground. That was unfair. She had asked for the extra work, begged for it actually. She was the one who got on the plane. Vic never dragged her anywhere, he only helped her out in what she had initiated. "Mine. It's my fault." The realization struck her as she felt her legs fall out from underneath her. Grabbing the nearest curb, Sarah rested her head in her hands. A soft hand caressed her shoulders, Sarah relaxed and fell into Vic. "What am I gonna do?"

She could feel Vic's chest expand and retract, "You don't have a choice Sarah. Do it for Kira."

* * *

Vic had left her long before Sarah rose to start slinging her share of the dope. Sarah had wanted to be alone. Pushing the thoughts of missing her flight and seeing Kira again by morning from her mind, Sarah sold more dope than she had either of the previous nights. But there was no longer a sense of accomplishment. The empty feeling of her jacket and the roll of twenties in her pocket didn't give her any sort of hope. It was gone. As seven thirty rolled around, Sarah couldn't find Vic and decided to turn in her profits to Pouchy's dealer without him. Handing him the money she threw the remaining baggies of cocaine at his chest, "I told you it was too much." Without another word she headed back to the apartment. Vic would catch up soon.

A sense of defeat had hovered over Sarah's head all night. Even after selling an immense amount of cocaine and making some money for herself Sarah couldn't breathe. There were no more customers to coordinate with. There were no more rich frat boys to casually approach, flirt with and subsequently sell to. Just Sarah and the thought of a little girl in Canada who wouldn't see her mother for over a year. That girl wasn't her daughter anymore. Sarah didn't deserve to be a mother. Mrs. S was Kira's mother now. More responsible, someone to trust. Sarah almost laughed, someone with an income that didn't come from arson and dope.

A lightning bolt struck Sarah shocking her clouded mind into something more manageable. No, that couldn't happen. Mrs. S was not Kira's mother and she never would be. Sarah was her mother and that was that. Screw Pouchy. Screw his dealer and his _make things up as we go along_ attitude. He had to learn that Sarah Manning wasn't going to fall for his crap. Sarah Manning was better than that. She wasn't Vic, she wasn't some low life that only had Pouchy to make her life feel like it was worth anything. She was catching that plane tonight and not even Pouchy's thugs were going to stop her.


	8. Airport Security

It was easy enough to throw everything into her small duffel bag within a matter of seconds. It was a whole other issue double checking every nook making sure she didn't miss anything. This was a place Sarah was never coming back to. She didn't want to see Pouchy ever again and as for Vic, Sarah's train of thought broke off for a second. No, she would see Vic again, once he was back in Toronto, as long as she wasn't running. A sense of dread overtook Sarah freezing her as she attempted to pick up her bag and walk out the door. Pouchy didn't care _that_ much to hold a grudge back in Toronto. The moment she was out of the states, _hell_ the moment she was past the metal detectors at the airport she would be safe, Pouchy would let it drop, right?

Bag in hand, Sarah took a step towards the door just as it opened letting the remaining drops of sun flood into the room. "What're ya doing?" Vic sauntered in, "Sitting in the dark?" He laughed as he flicked the switch next to him.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Vic ran his eyes up and down the length of Sarah's body finally resting on the duffel bag.

"What _are_ you doing?" Vic let his mouth hang open. "Sarah, we talked—"

"Yeah Vic we talked and I have a daughter, 'cuse me." Sarah pushed past him but became tangled as Vic grabbed the corner of the bag yanking her back into the center of the room. "Lemme go Vic."

"Sarah, you don't know what you're doing." Vic was sweating again. Maybe it was from the last bit of heat from the sun but there was something else in his features. A fear. His puppy dog eyes, the same eyes that might have been responsible for getting Sarah into bed were dripping with it.

"Vic, look."

"No you look, Sarah." His mood shifted. The words were sharper, more insistent. Demanding. "We talked about this and you're here until you're done. That's that."

Sarah pulled back on the duffel bag and stuttered as her gentle tug didn't appease him. She yanked harder as the strap broke off sliding through Vic's fingers. Her back was to the door. All she had to do was slip out quickly, but all Vic had to do was stop her. She had an emotional hold over him, true and he loved her, but the rage that was building in his brow and his shoulders was apparent as his fists started shaking.

The temperature in the room had skyrocketed. Sarah felt her chest rise and fall breathing in the humidity. "Vic. . ." Her voice trailed off as she took a step backwards, "I'm catching that plane." Another step.

"No you're not." Vic matched her movement towards the door, finally grabbing ahold of her jacket, "Put down the bag." Each individual word was stressed as Vic tried to keep his voice from shaking.

Sarah grabbed Vic's hand attempting to pry it off her shoulder, "Vic get off me." His knuckles didn't budge, she dug her nails into his hand. "VIC, I'm going! Get your hands off—" Vic reached down for the bag with his other hand and Sarah started to fight, "No!" Shoving her hand into his chest was like hitting a brick wall so she moved further up. Gripping his neck, Sarah put all her weight into his body bending his neck backwards. But Vic was still able to distribute his power equally as he clamped down on Sarah's shoulder while attempting to tear the bag out of her hands.

The struggle ensued. Sarah felt her strength leave her as the bag slipped a few inches out. Compensating, she dug her finger nails into Vic's throat until she heard him scream, "You bitch!"

The bag felt like air in Sarah's hands as it flew backwards hitting the door. Letting go of Vic, Sarah turned to grab the bag, but quickly felt a hand on her shoulder spinning her back around. The next few moments Sarah spent attempting to right herself in the apartment as an open palm hit her squarely on the jaw. Sarah caught herself on the edge of the bed before redoubling her grip on the duffel bag. Vic stood in front of her gasping for air, hand clutched around the now bloody indents on his throat. His eyes were watering as they attempted to go back into their puppy dog like state, but it was too late.

Sarah could see the regret clearly in his eyes and she hoped he couldn't see what was truly hiding behind her rage. It was the simple fact that she was going to end up forgiving him. Men in Vic's work had their violent streaks, it was a necessity and Sarah understood this. She might have been the one to drive him to this moment. But whatever the cause, whatever the outcome, there was a single place where she wanted to be. The only place that she needed to be. Sarah had a plane to catch, "Goodbye Vic." His name sounded harsher than she normally said it. It reminded her of the way Felix pronounced it before their first job together, an extra syllable cutting in at the end. Looking down at her feet, Sarah closed the door behind her.

* * *

Once Sarah found herself sitting in the back of a taxi cab she allowed herself to break down. Not audibly, she wanted to stay as sane as possible in the eyes of the taxi driver, but she started to shake. Subtle at first, but more violently as she watched the lights surrounding Myrtle Beach slip silently into the evening sunset.

"You alright?" the man said glancing back into his rearview mirror.

Quickly wiping a stray tear from her eye, Sarah looked into the front seat, "Yeah." The driver looked as if he had expected a conversation and when he didn't get a proper answer he shrugged and looked back to the road.

* * *

Pulling up to the gate, Sarah double checked her ticket ensuring nothing else would go wrong. Placing $35 into the hands of the driver, Sarah slid silently from the taxi. The man looked surprised that all she had was a small duffel bag, but once again shrugged and sped off leaving Sarah alone.

Checking her watch she had less time than comfortable to get to her gate. The usual advice was to be there boarding pass in hand two hours before the plane left. Sarah realized that seventy five minutes was going to cut it close and then there was that issue with the states. Increased security. She'd always found it amusing that instead of hiring a few security professionals that actually knew what they were doing, United States airports instead hired an untold number of minimum wage workers who could care less about their jobs. The result? Longer wait times, frustration and the inevitable deceptive veil of security. Out of all the things that could have caused Sarah to reminisce about Canada, airport security was not one she expected.

The line was exorbitant. With a single person checking tickets, in front of Sarah stood a single mother with two crying babies and a five year old that wouldn't stop pulling at her skirt. Two dark skinned Middle Eastern looking males that were sure to be waiting until the moment they reach the front of the line before being _randomly selected_ for a private tour of some backroom. Just beyond the men were two other men in suits. Nice, professionally tailored and expensive. Sarah watched them for a moment until she realized that they weren't waiting in line. They weren't there to catch a flight or to meet relatives.

Dropping her eyes, Sarah looked anywhere but these men. A few seconds passed and she couldn't help herself. Just a glance, a moment just to check their location. She was being paranoid, there was no reason to think Pouchy would already have men after her. No one knows she's hear, no one . . . except Vic. Remembering the final look on his face. The rage had drained and the remorse set in, but just for a single second his lip curled as contempt filled his brow. No. Vic knew what was at stake, he wouldn't.

Lifting her eyes off the ground, Sarah immediately spotted one of the suited individuals and their eyes met. Just a millisecond and yet Sarah saw his reaction. He said something out of the side of his mouth as the second man walked past Sarah. The first man was coming towards her. Walking steadily as his eyes refused to leave Sarah's body. She had to react. Looking around her, Sarah started to push herself out of line, "Excuse me. Sorry." Her thick British accent caught more attention than she would have liked, but it also abled her to back away from the suited man walking towards her. She would lose her place in line, but that was better than being dragged back to Pouchy.

As soon as Sarah vacated her spot, the vacuum imploded on itself as ten people attempted to get a jump on the line. This caused a mound of people to block the suited man stopping him in his tracks. Letting a smile crest her lips, Sarah turned to flee when she ran directly into a second finely tailored suit. "Sarah Manning?" The suit spoke strongly, yet elegantly with confidence.

Side stepping Sarah tried to evade him, but to no avail as he grabbed her by her collar and brought her back to his front. "Whaa? What do you want?"

The man didn't respond. Instead he elected to let his partner do the talking once he successfully avoided the remaining people waiting in line, "Sarah Manning?" The same damn question. It was starting to get on Sarah's nervous.

"Yeah. Hey. I'm trying to catch a plane yeah. I just wanted to get through security. I don't have anything on me." Sarah stammered a bit and then just started talking. She knew exactly who the men were and yet she didn't believe it. Vic wouldn't betray her. They were airport security, this was a random screening, nothing more.

"Ma'am you're going to have to come with us." The talkative suit held out his hand pointing towards the parking lot.

"Who are you?"

The man took a deep breath, "Sarah let's not cause a scene. Pouchy wants you back in one piece. Bruises on that pretty face of yours won't help sales."

She should have been scared. Scared of the hulking men in front of her that just threatened her bodily harm and yet the only thing that instantly built in her chest was rage. The moment she left that apartment Vic got on the phone with Pouchy. He told him everything. _Bastard._

The men held her by the nook of her elbow as they started walking towards the door. The thoughts started in the base of Sarah's subconscious before being yelled out loud, "No!" Tearing her arm out from underneath the man's Sarah broke away and took two steps backwards. Some people struck by boredom still waiting in line turned their heads. She had an audience now. "I'm not going with you!" She yelled. Who was airport security going to believe two meatheads in fancy suits or the poor girl they're harassing? "I don't know you. You're NOT airport security." The men were struck dumb. Both of their eyes widened as they began to glance around taking in the damage Sarah was causing.

The talkative one leaned forward, "This is not helping you. You're making it worse." He reached out to grab her again.

Swatting the hand away Sarah yelled louder, "Don't _touch_ me!" Out of the corner of her eye Sarah finally spotted help. The khaki pants with the stark white button shirt certainly contrasted the dark suits in front of Sarah. As they came closer relief swept over her as the light glinted off their badges. The real airport security was here. Seeing these individuals approach, Sarah tried to cry in order to look as disheveled as possible as the suited men backed away.

The first security guard to arrive made his way between Sarah and the men, "Are you alright miss?"

Sarah gave out an internal cheer as she felt a single tear break the plane of her lower lid, "These men, I don't know them."

The guard shot his eyes over to the men and they gave no objections. The talkative one mumbled something and walked away without looking back. There was a moment of celebration in Sarah's heart before she saw him take out a phone and begin dialing. But that was a problem for another day. She was going to go see her daughter.

Watching the clock move minute to minute was arduous. Sitting at her gate, Sarah shifted back and forth in her seat just a half size too small. She needed to close her eyes, at least that way the time would go by faster, but Sarah couldn't slip down far enough into the confines of the seat. The cheap faux leather imprinted on her skin with each motion. Thirty minutes until boarding and then twenty. Finally as the first class began filing on Sarah realized her ticket was one of the last sections to board. _Great. The tail section_.

As the line slowly minimized in front of the ticket taker, Sarah noticed her leg jumping up and down. In a few minutes she'd be on a plane going to pick up Kira and never have to leave her with Mrs. S again. Sure they would stop by every once in a while once Siobhan forgave her for this little weekend gaunt. Maybe Mrs. S would actually ask for Kira for the weekend. Uncle Felix could stop covering for his messed up foster sister and instead fill in a decent role of family. It wouldn't be perfect, Sarah knew she never deserved that, but—

Her phone started to vibrate in her pocket. It was Vic. It had to be. Mrs. S had given up calling more than once a day and Felix was too ticked. On the other hand, Sarah was shocked to see the caller ID revealing her foster brother's name. _What did Fee want?_

"Fee? What's up?"

"Sarah!" He was shouting into the phone. Winding was gusting by the mouth piece either from an open car window or some serious power walking.

"Fee! Wha—"

"Sarah! What did you do?"

"What did _I_ do!? What's going on?"

"Mrs. S just called. Someone trashed her place Sarah. No one was home, but when Mrs. S came back there were men in the house. Everything was destroyed. Nothing was taken, just trashed."

Sarah's mouth hung open. She should have known what this meant. She should have been able to comprehend what had happened a few hundred miles over the Canadian-American border and yet she just couldn't. "Fee I'm getting on a plane. I'll be home—"

"No, Sarah. This wasn't just some random break in. Don't you get it? This had something to do with Pouchy. What did you do?"

Sarah flashed back to the suited man in the lobby of the airport pulling out his cellphone. Did he call Pouchy or did he directly call the crew in Toronto waiting to smash the windows of Mrs. S's small two story home? Son of bitch Vic must have spilled everything. Or maybe Pouchy already knew everything? He knew exactly what she was going to do from the start. The moment he realized he wanted to keep Sarah on for another year, plans were put into motion. Pouchy might not have been a parent himself, but he had predicted Sarah down to the minute.

Hanging up the phone, Felix would forgive her later, she redialed to Vic.

"Sarah." He sounded defeated.

"Vic, please tell me I'm wrong. Please tell me—"

"Sarah, Pouchy wants to talk to you."

There was a fumbling of the cellphone until Sarah heard a throat clearing on the other side of the static, "Miss Manning, where are we this evening?"

"You have no idea what you've just done. That was my daughter's safety. Why would I ever even think about working for you after tonight?"

Sarah could almost hear the vicious smirk through the earpiece, "Well if you get on that plane right now you or your daughter won't have a home to go back to. And if that doesn't motivate you the custody of your daughter could always change until you finish your work. I don't think she'd enjoy the warehouse too much. And a Mrs. . . . let's see. . . Siobhan Sadler might get in the way, we'll just have to eliminate that part of the equation."

"You son of a bitch." Sarah felt the wind go out of her voice as she barely spoke the final words of that threat.

"So do we have a deal." It wasn't a question.

Air got caught in Sarah's throat. She wanted to say _No, screw you _and get on the plane, but that was no longer possible. It was a four hour flight and a lot can happen in four hours. But she was stubborn, Sarah had to get something out of this deal, "I'll come back if you write a check for the damage you caused at Siobhans."

A clear laugh through the phone line, "Hmmm I don't think so. But how about I write a check and you work off the figure? There's a lot of money to be made and it could go directly to your daughter in one way or another."

There was no answer from Sarah's end. Just a click that confirmed everything she and Pouchy already knew. She was staying in Myrtle Beach as long as it took. She would sell whatever Pouchy wanted and if that meant being away from her daughter for her own protection, it was a necessity.

The moment she got back to the beach Sarah found a pier. She figured Pouchy and a guilt ridden Vic would be waiting for her at the apartment. They could go ahead and wait. Staring into the darkening seascape Sarah watched as the last visible waves of the evening crashed into the wooden supports beneath her. She took her phone out of her pocket. After flicking through Felix's final incoming call and her outgoing one to Vic, there was nothing left but a few sparse voicemails from Mrs. S.

The phone started to ring. It was Mrs. S. Quickly moving her finger over to the _ignore_ button, Sarah hesitated. What's the worst that could happen if she answered it? Mrs. S deserved to know that Sarah wouldn't be back. She stifled a laugh. At the end of the day Mrs. S deserved a hell of a lot better than that. She deserved a better daughter than Sarah, even if she was only adopted. Clutching the phone Sarah reared back and threw it into the lake still ringing.

The next ten months passed and every time she saw one of Pouchy's dealers smile or even remotely happy she could see Pouchy smiling in her head. Smirking at her. The first few times after that night it made bile curdle in her stomach as she turned in her remaining stash accompanied by a set of rolled up twenties.

Vic, on the other hand, stood idly by almost happily making the drug money. He did put on a good show and Sarah had to admit the makeup sex wasn't all that bad. But she bit her lip every time she thought back to that night. A warmth would spread out on her cheek, but only the memory stung. The bruise on her face had faded, soreness drained and she was physically fine, but emotionally there was that single moment the lingered in the back of her mind. As Vic started to lean on her more and more, he was simply there for her as a crutch. The only person to depend on was the only person she let herself get close to. She was leading him on, yes, but she was a survivor and she was going to get out of Myrtle Beach sooner or later.

* * *

Just so you know I plan on writing one last chapter as an epilogue. I want this story to be a true prequel so that it connects to the first moment we meet Sarah and the first moment she sees Beth.

Also, thank you for reading and all the support I have received from everyone! It's been a blast sharing this with you!


	9. Epilogue

Sarah sat on the express train that traveled through the Carolinas, Pittsburgh and now approached the final US stop: Buffalo, New York. After crossing into Canada there would be one suburban stop and finally Huxley Station in Toronto.

The train had a car with sleep quarters, but Sarah had elected to sleep in a passenger car. Well, Pouchy elected it for her as he was the one who supplied the ticket. It was the last spiteful gesture of Pouchy's. The stash was gone after nine and a half months and he was nice enough to come down and congratulate them. He slapped two distinctly different sets of tickets on the table. One a first class airfare with Vic's name printed neatly on across the top. The second, a cross country train ticket for Sarah.

He smiled, "Vic, this is your reward for staying on with me up in Toronto. I have a kilo waiting for you at the warehouse." He shifted his eyes to Sarah as his smile turned a bit sour, "And Sarah you'll be tramping it. It's been great doing business with you two."

Vic turned to leave, but Sarah stood still, "Oi what about our payments."

"Oh yes, Vic and I have already discussed the sum that will be paid out to him back home. You on the other hand," Leafing through his inside jacket pocket, Pouchy pulled out a check and laid in on the table, "Made out to cash."

Sarah picked up the check it read first in words and then numbers, five hundred dollars. He screwed her, owing her about twenty times that much. _Didn't even bother to make it Canadian Dollars_. The reasoning, as per the logic of Pouchy, said that the damage to Mrs. S's house was the exact figure that Sarah had made selling dope. The five hundred was a bonus to help get her home. _What a great guy._

So there Sarah sat heading across the Canadian border with five hundred US dollars in her pocket. The train was speeding up after the stop in Buffalo as Sarah felt her eyelids drop.

* * *

_Huxley Station!_ A voice yelled over the intercom as Sarah jolted up from her sleeping position, "Shit!" It was a whispered tone, but loud enough for a woman and her little girl to hear. "Sorry."

Getting off the train, the fresh Canadian air hit Sarah's face and there was a sense of comfort that came with it. Jingling her pockets there was a call that she had to make, hopefully she had enough change.

Sarah took a deep breath as the phone rang three times before Mrs. S picked up. "Hello?" It was a sweet tone, Sarah could hear laughter in the background. It was Kira, a mother just knows. "Hello?" The voice chimed again.

"Hey, it's Sarah"

"What?"

"Yeah, I'm back in town."

There was a distinct pause on the other end of the line, "Sarah?" The tone changed, "Back in Toronto?" It was darker, it was clear to Sarah that the phone call was one that was unwanted.

"I want to see Kira, okay?" Sarah heard the sharp words come from her mouth, but she couldn't think of any other way to spit it out. It's all that mattered. Sarah turned and saw that she was one of the only people on the train platform. There was another woman about thirty feet down. A maroon business suit, heels. The kind of woman that didn't have issues like the custody of her children. But something was wrong, she could hear the woman crying.

"You want to see Kira?" Mrs. S was enraged. "She's been with me for nearly a year and that's where she'll stay. You're not seeing her."

"Well that's not fair, is it?" No response, "Can I at least speak to her?" Sarah heard a click on the other end, "Hello?" The phone was dead. Sarah slammed it down, "Bitch."

Checking the coins in her hand, she didn't have enough to give Felix a call. Turning back toward the platform, the woman was pacing back and forth. Her cries still echoed off the walls. Sarah walked towards her not sure what she was going to do or say. Weaving in and out of the metal supports she watched as the woman stepped gently out of her slick, black heels. Next, her jacket. Folding it nicely, placing it next to her shoulder back and heels.

Sarah didn't realize how close she had gotten in the last fifteen seconds and was now standing within five feet of her. The woman turned around. Sarah was about to say something along the lines of _Are you okay?_ but the woman's face stopped her.

The woman in the maroon suit stood in front of Sarah with Sarah's own face. Sarah felt a cold chill shoot down her spine as any words she thought about saying got caught in her throat.

Every thought of Pouchy or Vic faded from her mind. The last ten months melted away.

The woman turned towards the tracks and started walking. There was a train coming. Speeding in at thirty miles an hour.

It's funny the things that come to mind in the moments when the mind is most crippled. Sarah's was moving a mile a minute and yet not processing a single idea. The woman's face kept echoing as Sarah's eyes followed each of her steps.

Even with the chaos of Sarah's life, this crying unknown woman who shared her face, the cocaine, the dope, Vic, Pouchy. All of this and there was only one word that Sarah was able to process. The only word that mattered, _Kira._ And then the woman stepped out in front of a train.


End file.
